MySpace: Jesus, now what the hell is wrong?
Broken again!
Is it just me, or does everyone else hate seeing Tom’s Latest Updates? These are really euphemisms for What’s Wrong Now With MySpace, as the site seems to break down with the frequency of an American car - except the Mustang of course, which I think is great.
Just kidding. I think Mustangs suck.
If you don’t already know this, MySpace is a piece of junk. Sure, everyone thinks it’s cool and it’s widlly popular, but so is rape. That still doesn’t make it right.
First off, it was hacked and slashed together by this Tom fellow, an admitted “retard and complete buffoon”. These are his own words. I am not kidding. No, I don’t have a source, but trust me. He used ColdFusion to program the thing, which is an O.K. prototyping language but terrible for enterprise applications.
Non-geeks: Just imagine you designed a car mockup with styrofoam, Saran Wrap, paste (the kind kids can eat), rubber tubing, bird feathers and tar - or whatever they build car prototypes with. Everyone loves it so much that you decide to hell with it! Let’s just let everyone drive the prototype!
Now you’ve got hormone crazed teenagers driving the thing and exploding like little suicide bombers before 100 miles roll over.
Sadly or wonderfully, the Internet facilitates this kind of dysfunctional ingenuity. Apart from the user interface being clunky, slow and inconsistent and all of the insanely horrible designs that people come up with, MySpace is a cool concept. It was just executed poorly (except for the popularity part).
Even still, there’s proof that concepts are valuable as shown by the purchase of MySpace for several bajillion dollars by The Most Evil Man Ever, Rupert Murdoch. Tom is now rolling around in a haystack of money like Scrooge McDuck and probably having relations with many, many women, often all at once.
Nice job, Tom. Now please un-f*ck whatever tangle of wires you tripped over in Mom’s basement and get my Friend Comments working again.
January 14th, 2006 at 1:19 am
haha that is some funny **** but so true.
January 19th, 2006 at 10:20 am
You have just made my morning, now I can go back to yelling at ********* vendors with a smile on my face (and you know if you smile while you are on the phone the person on the other end will feel it (I still don’t get that))
I really love your “How not to suck at Myspace” and your “Top ten Myspace clichés”
Have a great day finding more tragic myspace profiles to mock.
February 1st, 2006 at 3:43 pm
Wow This definitely just made my day. Myspacefuckingsucks sometimes
March 14th, 2006 at 12:18 am
I do agree…but also try developing a coldfusion site that expanded by more than 20 million people in a matter of months. I’d say they are doing a pretty good job since a CFML site with more than 50 million users is pretty much unheard of to any developer.
March 14th, 2006 at 2:39 am
Well, that’s the thing. I wouldn’t be dumb enough to do anything other than a prototype with CF; it’s a prototyping tool, and prototypes are meant to be thrown away. It’s simply bad practice to turn a prototype into a production site, whether you planned on the site getting hugely popular or not.
I don’t give really give Tom any kudos for having a such a highly-trafficked site on CF because you can pretty much do any site in any language given enough hardware resources. Amazon was just a big, clunky Perl monster with a ton of hardware thrown at it, and I assume the same kind of thing is being done with MySpace (even though I think it would be fairly trivial to completely rewrite it in something enterprise capable like, say, Java Struts).
July 5th, 2006 at 10:45 am
You know what? I still get duplicate friends. Apparently, he didn’t fix it, but merely lied and said it was. Liar.
July 22nd, 2006 at 7:17 pm
What the hell is wrong with that stupid site now? Nothing will open, just keep getting error message after error message. Have they been hacked or something or is it just further evidence of how appalling myspace is?
July 22nd, 2006 at 7:53 pm
Yep, same problem here, can’t get on. Either too many people have nothing better to do on a Saturday than to browse on myspace and overloaded their servers or they’ve been hacked. Or maybe its down for good! Oh no, will we do now??? LOL
July 23rd, 2006 at 9:26 pm
yes, yes… it’s been going on for two days now… what the hell is the matter?
July 24th, 2006 at 2:37 am
Jeanine, LOL. Whatever would we do if myspace were to implode. Oh…no…woe is us….lol. No doubt all the faithful myspacers would flock to somewhere like Xanga instead and then overload THIER servers. Sheeesh.
Looks like it’s happened again. I’d hate to be ‘Tom’ right now.