Daily Worst: Rak$
Today, I want you to join me in indulging in one of my most favorite paradoxes ever: slutty Christian chicks. Rak$ appears to be a professional rap Ass Girl AND a devout Christian at the same time. I guess writing CA$H FLOW on your mostly-exposed posterior doesn’t clash with Christian ideals anymore.
And this is why I love religion, because pretty much anything goes! People will always find a way to justify all the bad things they do in the eyes of God, whether it’s killing, raping, bestiality, eating of monkey brains, farting, sex, public nudity, basketball, showers, birthday parties, eating, television, driving, spanking, jihad, skinning a man alive and basting his flesh in fine brandy, gun play, sword play, play, reading, killing, conversation or smiling.
All bad, yet all justified somehow.
Yes, I know this post should be filled with tons of bad ass puns like, “Looks like she’s using all of her ASSets! HAR HAR!” but I just woke up and my Funny doesn’t work until I’ve had about 12 cups of coffee. I’m leaving the funny up to you guys today: post comments.
But don’t forget, her profile states:
only god can judge me
That really limits your options, but like my Homie Tim Gunn says, “Make it work!”
Update: Booo! She set her profile to private mode. The world is better off now, but don’t forget we make a snapshot!
Update: Yaaay! Thanks to Google, you can view a full page snapshot of Rak$ profile!
March 13th, 2006 at 1:31 pm
I love pointing out contradictions too.
March 13th, 2006 at 10:00 pm
Um. Why did her age just decrease by 11 years?
March 13th, 2006 at 10:41 pm
And at the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying …. My God, my God, why ******* gotta hate? (Mk 15:34)
March 15th, 2006 at 7:24 am
And in a dream our Lord Jesus came unto her and bestowed 10 commandments by which to buildeth the holiest of myspace profiles.
1. Thou shalt bear thy body to world and ye shalt recieve praise for thine sloppy, whorish pictures.
2. Thou shalt display the greatest of ****** baggery in both picture and written form.
3. Thou shalt not display the slightest hint of intelligence, as it is a sin punishable by a bad complexion.
4. Thou shalt wear thine skimpiest adornments to hideth thine bullet wounds.
5. Thou shalt become pregnant again and again only to raise thine offspring as horrid human beings.
6. Thou shalt be incredibly self absorbed. Care not about that which doesnt not concerneth thou.
7. Thou shalt adopteth the name “dumb ***** with sloppy ****”, and thou shalt answer only to thine new name.
8. Thou shalt hangeth 50 cent and puff daddy posters in thine room, which shalt be considereth thine only friends.
9. Thou shalt watcheth only “Laguna Beach” so as to perfect thine craft of being a dumb ***** with sloppy titeth.
10. Thou shalt display thine stretch marks, bullet wounds, and c-section scars on myspace to bear witness to thine white trasheth heritage.
And these commandments did the lord bestow upon her so that she may be the dumbest of *****.
March 15th, 2006 at 10:57 am
C’mon guys… whats not christian about posting this on the interweb???
March 15th, 2006 at 11:57 am
haha christian AND a ****.. now THATS a new one
jeeezz if your gunno put picture up of your *** PLEASE OH PLEASE let it be half decent
not even my dog would bite that butt..
that *** is giving me night meres and i need my eye balls speared out by the devils fork.
btw i love the 10 commandments
but arent they applied to EVERY chav??
March 15th, 2006 at 12:32 pm
oh…what a naughty *insert her religion here* schoolgirl she is!
March 15th, 2006 at 1:14 pm
technically yes, but she is the only one with the guts to follow all 10 simultaneously….its really incredible if you think about it. She has some brass ones!
March 15th, 2006 at 10:21 pm
For some reason, the fact that she points out that “First of all I’m not Spanish. For the people who write to me in Spanish, I have no idea what you’re saying.” is amusing to me.
March 16th, 2006 at 1:14 pm
14 or 25 there is a BIG difference!
March 17th, 2006 at 5:49 am
i believe the age defaults to 14 once the profile is set to private
thank god for that google snapshot. i was about to throw a fit over not seeing the profile.
i thought wiggity wack wigger of 06 was reason enough to be ashamed to be from florida…now i think i’ll just blow the fuggin state up.
i don’t think theres anything more amusing than pictures of jesus coupled with a whole bunch of arse and face that looks like it got shot through a meat grinder
thank god myspace is here for these people…as if jerry springer wasn’t enough.
March 31st, 2006 at 10:29 pm
Buns, Raks & Fidel Cashflow?
Wow, demeaning to women and it makes fun of a dictator.
Props to that.
August 26th, 2006 at 9:24 am
Her profile isn’t private anymore, and it seems sluttier than ever.
December 27th, 2006 at 3:26 am
Flori-duh transplant here… California native. I observe the people around me and shake my head. One of the things that disturbs me is that Florida is part of the so-called “Bible Belt”. All kinds of people running around here going to church all the time, always talking about religion, but… it doesn’t seem to sink into their heads. They don’t seem to know what to do with it. You can call yourself a Christian, like this, and I don’t know her personally, bimbo does. Fine and dandy. I could call myself a Goddess (which I do), but if no one bows down to me (and so far, no one has), does it count?
December 27th, 2006 at 8:46 pm
The best part for me in the original screen cap (the Google one expired) is that she has two blogs titled “why peoples gotta hate?” and then “orlando sucks”. God I hope that was on purpose…