Today on a very special Worst of MySpace
This is to all the people I’ve offended: I apologize.
I think it’s about time I reveal my true identity. I spend a lot of time ripping on people, and all this negative energy has caught up with me.
So, this is me: Mick.
I mean, who am I? I am just an average man, who has been through hell and high water most my life. I live a humble life down in Fort Myers, Florida. I like boats, beer and boobs (like most guys).
Okay, so a lot of people are jealous of my long, flowing locks. In fact, many women stop me on the street and ask how I maintain such a healthy sheen. So we have a good chat about split ends, heat clamps, weaves and perms. No sh*t - I’m not kidding. And no, it’s not gay. In fact, I get a lot of phone numbers like that.
You might not believe it, but young guys also come up to me on the street and ask about my medallion and want advice about bling and stuff. They admire me for my style, and, yeah, I think I’m pretty cool. I’ll admit it. In fact, there’s this old black guy that sits in front of Oh-Myers Bait and Liquor who calls me Smooth Chuck, or sometimes Chuck Styles. Now that’s cool.
Humbled: Chuck Styles. lol!
But does the envy of many, many people somehow place me on a higher pedestal than others? Is that a free ticket to make others feel like sh*t? Is that a wad of a**hole currency handed to me that burns a hole in my pocket, begging to be spent? Black people love me, and that somehow makes me the Chief Justice of Cool?
The answers are no, no, no, and maybe.
I’ve thought about this a lot, done a lot of soul-searching and decided that the world is better off without my negative energy. Therefore, I am resigning as the editor of Worst of MySpace and selling the site for no less than six figures to the highest bidder. Please inquire here if you’re interested. Serious inquiries only, please.
Thanks for your readership, and please be sure to visit my new Internet endeavor …
Love always,
Mick, aka Mr. Nutz
April 1st, 2006 at 6:24 pm
Nuh huh. I refuse to believe my worst has a ponytail.
April 1st, 2006 at 6:53 pm
I can’t believe you have longer hair than me (;
April 1st, 2006 at 7:47 pm
haha this is an april fools joke right >
you cant retire..
theres so much more work to be done..
hey u have nice eyes!
April 1st, 2006 at 8:38 pm
You’re quite an *******, Mick…a real *******.
April 1st, 2006 at 8:44 pm
I never liked you anyway.
April 1st, 2006 at 9:04 pm
HELL YES!!!! that is by far the best april fools i have seen this year. well done m8! a definite round of applause from me!
April 1st, 2006 at 9:26 pm
April Fools, man.
Your hair (if it is, in fact, your hair) is hot and I want it. MM yeah.
-Ria
April 2nd, 2006 at 3:25 am
lolzzzzzzzzzz
April 2nd, 2006 at 8:42 am
I have only recently had the pleasure of finding your page, but every time I come here I always leave with a smile. Thank you.
April 2nd, 2006 at 9:13 am
i want to smash you
April 2nd, 2006 at 1:33 pm
Ok…seriously I love this site do not stop what you are doing.
The hair is sexy I must say I am jealous.
You are great!
April 2nd, 2006 at 2:12 pm
wow, and i have been hunting for you and you are just gonna leave me like this? how will i survive? with all the idiots in the world there is more work to be done.
April 2nd, 2006 at 2:12 pm
A lot of people are jealous of me. I mean, come on:
April 2nd, 2006 at 2:13 pm
I always thought you would be kinda nerdy and about 18, not hair bandish but you rock it.
April 2nd, 2006 at 2:18 pm
lolzzzzzzzzzz
n00bs
April 2nd, 2006 at 2:51 pm
That is officially scary….
NutZy
April 2nd, 2006 at 5:18 pm
april fools
April 3rd, 2006 at 12:03 am
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=21110305
ummmmm
April 3rd, 2006 at 8:22 am
haha Dr. Rosenblat approves
January 22nd, 2007 at 3:19 pm
Uh,Mr.Nutz,I’m most certainly not JEALOUS of you.And I hate your hair.And you’re really self centered:There’s a lot of people thinking that,I know,but I’m saying it for all of us.So,here’s a suggestion:Stop posting those mean messages,and delete your website.It’s a good idea to follow those directions.
January 23rd, 2007 at 11:44 am
here’s some directions for you young lady:
1. Eat sh*t
2. Die
Repeat if necessary, but if you have to you must be doing something wrong.
By the way, that entire profile and eveything related to it was a joke Columbo. Yeah, that’s right, a “joke”. I highly suggest you look into how to recognize and/or take jokes, they can be loads of fun!
“stop posting those mean messages”
What are you, 6?
Why in the dirty hell do you keep coming to this site to preach your bullsh*t hippie rhetoric? There has to be a site out there designed for people just as ignorant and half witted as you…give it a look. Go to google and search “self righteous as*holes that know everything and dont know how to shut the f*ck up”, you may just find something you like. Then, you and your new found family of preaching f*ckwads can hold hands and trade presents while you talk about world peace. If that doesn’t work out for you, just follow the directions I mapped out above if you are so concerned with making the world a better place.
January 23rd, 2007 at 3:01 pm
Why are you wasting your time posting the messages anyway?And don’t bother putting those ” “s around it.I’ll give you your answer.It’s because you’re an idiot.I’m not going to follow those stupid dumb*** directions.And besides,I wasn’t talking to you,so stay out of it.Oh i have an idea.Follow your own directions!That’s a great idea!No need to thank me.Can’t you find anything better to do?I’ll answer that for you too:No.
You know,the world WOULD be a better place if you just die.But you’re not going to do that now are you?
Well,I enjoyed this NICE conversation,but I’m going to go to another,BETTER,website.Guess what it is?Myspace.Don’t bother answering.I won’t answer back.
January 23rd, 2007 at 3:17 pm
See how she keeps threatening not to respond, but it just doesn’t quite ever work out that way. Pity.
January 24th, 2007 at 12:04 pm
haha she can’t help herself. Not only that, but she never really has anything worth a sh*t to say. It’s either “quit being mean!” or her attempting to use my own, rather witty jokes against me. I mean, I dont really expect her to be bright enough to come up with her own insults or jokes (one’s that make sense at least), but at least try, ya know?
But, please, even though youre not answering back (for the 5th time), feel free to post your ramblings up on here any time. It’s funny enough to watch you make an as* of yourself, but it’s even funnier when I get to respond and make you realize just how much of a blithering idiot you actually are.
C’mon Sarah, you are only one step away from completing your mission. Judging by the veritable diarrhea that spews from your mouth at all times youve already completed step 1 (eat ****). Now just take the plunge and die. It’s so simple Sarah, I know you can do it!
January 24th, 2007 at 4:41 pm
What’s wrong with you people?
So what,Sarah is only a sweet girl,from what I’ve read.You’re going too hard on her.She is just stating that she thinks it’s mean.And some of it is.It sounds like she’s only a kid,so knock it off.Pick on someone your own age.
May 21st, 2007 at 7:56 am
Mitchell Goosen at your service. Don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. Don’t care. As long as I live near the beach and don’t have to wear a tie. Then I’ll be stylin’
May 28th, 2007 at 6:46 pm
So…I guess she died, huh?