Daily Worst: Mr. Papageorgio
[STFU. I’ve been on a two-week booze binge.]
I’ve been neglecting an important genre of bad profiles on MySpace, mostly because I don’t know how to handle them. I’m talking about just plain ricockulous profiles.
These are usually characterized by an intentional shock and awe campaign against those perfectly innocent aqueous-humor-filled spheres in your head: your eyeballs.
In most cases, someone who deliberately tries to ruin my eyes gets their name posted at the top level on my List of People to Kill. But I can cut these guys a break because I have a deep erotic love for satire and parody (maybe you noticed).
Thus, I give you Mr. Papageorgio.
I’ve seen that kooky biker guy around the Internets for a few years, but to take his freaky-sock-wearing ass and weave it into a background image is a work of horrific beauty and genius.
I have a special affinity for the rockin’ Journey song, too: it was playing as the “Get the f*ck out” music at a bar the other night as I made out with a 49-year-old divorcee reliving the wild youth she never had.
Now, Don’t Stop Believin’ will forever take me back to that moment, with that sweet cougar in my arms, her fuzzy little moustache against mine, breaking our long kiss only so she could mouth “Everybody wants a thrill” before diving back at my engorged tonsils.
Oooh. Who else is horny?
Analysis
Asian people are funny.
April 17th, 2006 at 8:45 am
This is absolutely appalling but strangely compelling. The video’s naff but in an enjoyable way and you can still read the text over that… you actually want to go and read the comments… and then hack out your eyeballs with rusty spoons after reading said comments… can he do ANYTHING other than twoc pictures and embed videos from elsewhere… Have something to SAY ffs!
April 17th, 2006 at 9:02 am
wow, an obvious attempt at failed myspace comedy. The only thing remotely funny about his page is that i can just picture the author chuckling to himself and having just a jolly ol’ time putting that design together thinking it will be, like, soooo funny, omgz! Congrats buddy, you are your own biggest fan. I mean, did you see the picture of the dude with the regular sized body and small head?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! OMG!!! Thats totally NOT how normal people look, HAHAHAHAHAHAH!
April 17th, 2006 at 1:23 pm
Ok those green tights & the striped socks made me spit my tea on my boobies, talk about hot titties.
Lovely…not
April 17th, 2006 at 1:43 pm
what a coincidence, i happen to love hot titties! Maybe we should….you know…go out some time, for, like, a root beer or something. After which i will give you a long sensual massage with melted butter.
April 17th, 2006 at 2:01 pm
MISOHONI!
MILUVULONGGGTIME.
You never seize to amaze me, Worst.
April 17th, 2006 at 3:01 pm
I must disagree with you. This guy is awesomely tacky, and I love it!!!
April 17th, 2006 at 4:36 pm
damn, tough crowd
April 17th, 2006 at 5:30 pm
Oh goodie, root bear, then I can turn you on belching the alphabet as you melt butter and test it’s temperature on your…..
April 17th, 2006 at 5:32 pm
root bear? make that beer, eesh… Must have been the hot butter thoughts, yeah, that’s it
April 18th, 2006 at 7:14 am
Xenu, Me & the rest of the Universal Council need to have a little sit down with you. Tom Cruise flipped and told us about all the money youve been holding out on us. You might wanna think about coming clean before you get clipped.
April 18th, 2006 at 7:23 am
Beer it is then you sly little temptress, let us quench our thirst as i dazzle you with clever banter.
April 18th, 2006 at 3:36 pm
Will your banter get more clever the more I drink? Or is that the more you drink? Whip cream anyone…….
April 18th, 2006 at 3:42 pm
Would you two **** already?
April 18th, 2006 at 5:53 pm
Hey now, don’t kill the foreplay! *belch*
April 18th, 2006 at 8:37 pm
i dont f*ck, i make sweet, sweet, bitter love. Then I cry…..er….i mean, polish my motorcycle……..F*CK!
April 18th, 2006 at 8:40 pm
You have 48 hours to respond Xenu.
April 19th, 2006 at 4:06 am
Or what zeus, will you font xenu to death? hehe
Now where was I, oh yes, c’mere Dr. let me check your……pulse…
April 19th, 2006 at 7:18 am
When a man falls down that pipe, does he fill like a ****?
April 19th, 2006 at 8:21 am
….apparently my pulse can be found on my taint.
April 19th, 2006 at 12:16 pm
That background is too much. I feel like I’m about to have a seizure!
I wasn’t able to send you guys emails about profiles so I guess I’ll post them here.
This one has a horrible background
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=15974979
April 19th, 2006 at 3:56 pm
Now now, pulses shall only be ever checked above the waist. Besides that, my man in the boat doesn’t paddle to camp lickachick.
Anywho, where can I find me a pair of them sexy socks, preferably the ones with the seperate toes in ‘em!
April 23rd, 2006 at 1:47 pm
Well I found it funny…
April 24th, 2006 at 5:48 pm
Who the HELL is the guy in the background?
May 18th, 2006 at 6:09 am
hey funky a** people how r u 2day me jus fine w/ out u in the f*cking thing so b my guest and go f*ck ur self B***h
June 1st, 2006 at 10:18 am
ok, so someone tell poseidon he mispelled poseidon.
June 28th, 2006 at 9:27 pm
Okay, she stretched her site (which is bad enough), but now you can’t read anything to the left of your screen. Good thing I don’t really want to.
June 29th, 2006 at 8:48 am
By the way, I was talking about the link someone posted to some chick’s site, just in case you were wondering.
February 1st, 2007 at 2:15 am
[…] and hey Morten and Chris . I think maybe I found a potential customer for you, Mr Papageorgio ! […]
April 5th, 2007 at 5:23 pm
Papageorio is just ******* with us. Oh wait, this is MySpace!