Monthly Worst: Zack
[This is going to be the most half-assed article to date. I’m really busy. Sorry.]
All I can think of when I look at Zack is think, “What an incredible dickface.”
Again, we have a complete tool shed - a virtual son of Bob Villa - with some of the most ridiculously terrible hair ever seen, making sweet love to a camera in his outstretched hand.
What a f*cking a**hole.
I don’t think the words “vapid” and “materialistic” even begin to describe this fashion clown, especially when you read though his general interests:
big bottles of smartwater … paris hilton … us weekly, tanned skin … chanel, rich people … making my hair blonder … adorable little dogs … pretty boys, white loafers …
Seriously, who told you
that looked good?
Ugh. And it goes on.
It also amazes me to see people who purport to be fashion whores, yet have no concpept of good design. If you claim to be into fashion, yet have no idea that your page looks like the wrapper off a piece of Mexican candy, I can’t help but think you are probably just wearing what some doofus says is fashionable, not what looks good. This makes you nothing but a sheep.
Is it wrong that I fantasize about Zack being eaten by sharks?
May 30th, 2006 at 3:23 pm
*sigh*
frick
fine, you’re forgiven………
(man that article sucked)
May 30th, 2006 at 4:25 pm
I’ve seen some outfits from Wal-Mart that looks more fashionable than… that. People like him should be neutered.
May 30th, 2006 at 6:11 pm
did you check out the video of him dancing? Too good.
May 30th, 2006 at 6:18 pm
Oh. My. Godless. What a f*g. His whole page is a self-righteous shrine to himself.
I bet he jerks off to his MySpace. While that Paris Hilton wannabe chick he’s with watches. D**ches. Both of them.
May 30th, 2006 at 6:51 pm
HE looks like a mop.
May 30th, 2006 at 7:48 pm
Hey Zack, or his little child of a girlfriend.. pay attention to this next paragraph carefully…
The age of consent varies from state to state. Technically, it is “the arbitrary age, assigned by legislators, that define the legal time at which a person may consent voluntarily to sexual activity with another person.” This is a somewhat confusing definition, so instead it might help to think of age of consent in regards to statutory rape. For example, say you live in California where the age of consent is 18. This means that if you are over the age of 18 and you engage in “sexual activity” with a person under the age of 18, you have committed statutory rape.
The child in your pics, is 14, based on the double profiles she’s listed…
Not only are you a pathetic dweeb, but you’re also a pedophile.
May 31st, 2006 at 6:34 am
This dude is absolutely in love with himself. Im willing to bet he spends hours upon hours just staring into a full legnth mirror imagining what it would be like to make sweet, tender love to himself. I guess thats what happens when you are so incredibly vapid that your personality resembles that of a litter box….you have to learn to love yourself. Not to mention this f*ck looks like the love child of Richard Simmons and a bottle of bleach. Oh, and By the way, any male that lists Paris Hilton as an interest should have a cheese grater raked across his face. Twice.
Im kind of curious if either of Zack’s friends will find this and come to his aid, but then again Im not sure a bag full of make-up and a Paris Hilton poster can operate a computer. So we should be safe.
May 31st, 2006 at 7:21 am
Oh Dear GOD!! are you sure this profile is even real? Maybe it’s just one he made up to get the coveted monthly worst award…
May 31st, 2006 at 9:41 am
Oh my god. OH. MY. GOD. When did David Bowie, George Hamilton and my big, white, Cuban *** have a lovechild?
May 31st, 2006 at 9:47 am
It kinda figures that these people come from California. It seems like most of the ****** up people in the country come from California. The hair on everybody on his page is so god damn blond. If it weren’t for the incredibly horrible clothes, it would look like Nazi Germany.
May 31st, 2006 at 11:47 am
He looks like Billie Jeans brother from Legend of Billie Jean.
May 31st, 2006 at 11:51 am
Scratch that. He looks like Billie Jean
May 31st, 2006 at 4:23 pm
Hahaha my sister has that same green sweater that his wearing on the picture above.He looks like a albino with a bad tan.
May 31st, 2006 at 4:32 pm
have u ever had a go on an electo ball?
enough said.
May 31st, 2006 at 4:35 pm
*electro even
May 31st, 2006 at 4:55 pm
i know who shot j.f.k.
this myspace needs to be read.
http://www.myspace.com/vincentgrey
May 31st, 2006 at 5:03 pm
Holy Hell!!! This reminds me of nothing so much as one of those notebooks with the transparent front that some preppy chick filled with photos of herself partying with friends. Zack: Get some balls, stop acting like a woman!! …I bet he doesn’t even like first-person shooters…for shame.
May 31st, 2006 at 6:17 pm
he looks like a bleached mr. hanky the christmas poo
May 31st, 2006 at 8:38 pm
I think it’s funny how he’s posted pictures of him with two different girls, and his info box says “in a relationship” but his blurbs say single white male. Oh and yes this guy is a total dork. They stamp this guy out of molds in the dork factory.
June 1st, 2006 at 9:14 am
I can’t believe people like this exist. What a homo.
June 2nd, 2006 at 6:35 am
People, this is proof of what happens when you get your *** kicked in high school.
June 2nd, 2006 at 8:33 am
This is person #102 who is really screwing up America. His parents deserve the same shame given the Hiltons. If either has any. On a lesser note - everyones comments are what makes this place so F ing great, I get a great laugh out of the profle, then die with laughter as I continue to read the comments.
June 2nd, 2006 at 12:08 pm
love that comment, Satan
June 2nd, 2006 at 8:25 pm
My Gaydar is spinning out of control…….
June 3rd, 2006 at 8:02 pm
he looks like one of those trolls on a pencil, where you rub the pencil and the hair gets messed up in the process–remember those?
June 4th, 2006 at 6:45 am
Bender: “No? ….Ok, I’ve got a lock on him. Yep, he’s gay!”
Amy: “Are you sure?”
Bender: “Definitely! Unless I’m getting interference from a gay weather balloon.”
June 4th, 2006 at 1:19 pm
Now I understand why Northern Californians hate Southern Californians so much! What a bunch of self-obsessed, materialistic **********!
June 6th, 2006 at 8:09 am
i never thought i’d see paris hilton, cable knit sweaters, bleach stains and pretty boys in the same sentence. What a retard
June 6th, 2006 at 11:53 am
One of the blond girls he keeps getting photos of kissing looks like she could be his sister. They both have the same fugly nose and weird eyes. EWWWW.
June 6th, 2006 at 2:21 pm
Does anyone else think that someone’s found the real life zoolander? I look at his pictures and think “blue magnum!” His flouresent underwear also makes me uncomfortable.
June 9th, 2006 at 3:59 am
Oh mate the way you wrote this post made me laugh so much, i can not wait to read more of your stuff
June 9th, 2006 at 11:40 am
You guys are so stupid. Leave the poor guy alone. Even though he may be different from you doesn’t mean you have to make fun of him. He’s probably got a bigger c*ck than you and has gotten laid way more than you anyway. Now go back to your D&D clans and get a life.
June 9th, 2006 at 2:05 pm
Haha. “HotElf” is telling people to go back to D&D clans.
June 9th, 2006 at 2:25 pm
Yeah well shut up you stupid racist homo f!cking Swedish broad your name should be GHEYNIC cause your pregudissed retard.
June 9th, 2006 at 5:31 pm
Oh, what a sophisticated comeback.
Does the size of his member and the number of times he’s lain with another really have anything to do with his worth as a person.
Go ahead, I’m waiting. Call me “The Marquis de Gayness”. I love these clever and soul crushing insults.
June 9th, 2006 at 6:58 pm
Ya well sut up thats not what YUOR MOM SAIDS IN BED LAS NIGHT!!!!
June 9th, 2006 at 8:06 pm
Well, at least we finally know where the creators of, “Drawn Together” got the concept for the Zandar character. Un-f***ing-believable.
All he needs is a pink-dyed bison frise puppy named, “Mr. Poopycakes” to carry around and his transformation to Uber-Freak would be complete.
God? If you are there and can hear me… WHY?!?!
June 10th, 2006 at 4:13 am
O yea all you people with your “sopisticated comebacks” cant even think of a comeback from my insult. I guess you arent so clever after all you hommophobic Nazi retards.
June 12th, 2006 at 8:54 am
I too, wish for Zack to be eatten by sharks. I am shallow, but this guy seems like all he wants is his own ****. And I never seen anyone so…I don’t even know what the words are to describe what he is!
June 12th, 2006 at 10:37 am
“not what YUOR MOM SAIDS IN BED LAS NIGHT!!!!”
“O yea all you people with your “sopisticated comebacks” cant even think of a comeback from my insult. I guess you arent so clever after all you hommophobic Nazi retards.”
Zing! Wow, your words are like so much venom. Guess thats what my “mom saids in bed las night!!!1″. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH…oh man…youre good (again, “what my mom saids in bed” bahahahaha!)
June 12th, 2006 at 3:52 pm
Yea well you just sit there on youre ivory tower and laugh at everyyone because nobsdy likes you you gay nazi. Oh yea and calling me a “Zing” really hurt to BA HA HA HA HA thats so funny yea rigth!
June 12th, 2006 at 9:54 pm
HotElf… How old are you? I mean really… Why isn’t your mom there helping you type this stuff?
June 13th, 2006 at 7:56 am
Yea well YOUR MOM IS HELPING ME TYPE IT yea nd look a how stupid your nam is duumbaass BAHAHAHAGA you cant even come up with a good name coase your stupid gay-azz hommophobe retard.
June 13th, 2006 at 12:23 pm
WHY!? Why did this have to be Worst of the Month!? Why couldn’t it have fallen into a hole and died where no one would ever see it again? Better yet, why couldn’t Zach have fallen into a hole where no one would ever see him again?
June 13th, 2006 at 5:15 pm
Y dont u die i a hol and nevr see agen u wotless peice of **** u idiot u dont even kno anything about Zack y do u hatee him so much u just asume things about him u idiot retarrd faschinst.
June 13th, 2006 at 6:06 pm
..What did I assume about him again? And what the hell is a faschinst?
June 13th, 2006 at 8:08 pm
People like this should not be allowed to live. No, scratch that. They should be charged money to breath air (they will, of course, pay for the air with daddy’s money). This is why I am never moving to California. This pile of pony s*** makes our entire country look bad. I hope he chokes on whatever Paris Hilton says is fashionable to eat. TOOL
June 13th, 2006 at 8:51 pm
I hear that in a few years, the San Andreas Fault will seperate Southern California from the rest of the States. If we act quick, it won’t be too late to turn it into New Alcatraz.
June 13th, 2006 at 10:13 pm
So-Cal girls, while a little bit on the airheaded side, tend to be worth the 6 hour drive. I would like to thank all the Zacks out there for keeping their local females disgusted–with their even more airheaded male counterparts.
Love ya buddy!
-Sammy from the San Francisco Bay Area
June 16th, 2006 at 2:03 am
HotElf237, these guys have no brains at all that’s why they made this site to judge people they don’t know at all. Its called a waste of webspace if you ask me. I’m with ya on this one.
You guys need to grow up and stop judging people you don’t even know.
June 16th, 2006 at 11:49 am
You guys are ugly Says:
You guys need to stop judging people you don’t even know.
June 16th, 2006 at 4:44 pm
I feel bad now cuz I laughed at what you wrote cuz Zacky is on my friends list and I actually talk to him. But everyhting you said is true. I’ve even posted a couple bulletins dealing with him and his radioactive tan.
June 21st, 2006 at 10:01 pm
For you, HotElf237, I got this from a bulletin:
“Nobody cares about threats over the internet.
Don’t try to act hardcore with the keyboard.
Fighting online is like racing in the special olympics;
even if you win, you’re still retarded.
Remember this.
July 4th, 2006 at 3:07 pm
Zach = HotElf237 ?
You guys are ugly = Zack too ?
HAW HAW
July 5th, 2006 at 10:38 am
Maybe, Daver. You might be onto something…
July 6th, 2006 at 8:58 am
Isn’t the “gay assed homophobe” thing a bit of an oxymoron ?
I bet this gut is getting more d*** than Paris Hilton ever thought about.
July 11th, 2006 at 11:33 pm
this dildo needs a hammer to the throat. and every other california-loving **** stain on his buddy list.
July 13th, 2006 at 11:05 am
Is this guy effin serious?!? I’ll be laughing my arse off when they all look like imitation leather handbags before they turn 30. Hooray for super tan skin! Muahahaha!
July 14th, 2006 at 12:39 am
Fake and Bake is this boy’s best friend.
This just made my day.
[zacky][Not that one…]
July 16th, 2006 at 4:16 pm
omg! My bowel movement has a webpage!
July 24th, 2006 at 12:48 am
Drew, if we don’t tell them their page sucks, who will?
Or do you enjoy perusing thousands of horrid pages by those with 12-year-old mental ages?
SOMEBODY has to point it out that they blow. Besides, it’s hilarious reading the guy’s descriptions. I’ve read ‘em all and am itching for more!
*puts hand on Drew’s shoulder* I respect your opinion, but you’re a dumbass.
July 26th, 2006 at 3:22 am
Simply for the record, not all Southern Californians are complete ********** like this guy. I happen to live in Orange County and though I may want to nuke this place sometimes, there are a decent amount of intelligent kids running about.
What surprises me most is that these people (those like Zack) try and make it clear that they have a booming social life.
And yet, they’re the biggest Myspace and online whores around.
I think the only thing worse than this ******* is Jeffree Star.
July 27th, 2006 at 12:59 pm
The tragic part of this is that he’s not gay. His profile says he’s straight and I’m inclined to believe it because he obviously has no shame - if he was gay, he’d be flaunting it.
I’ve got nothing against gay people, but really…how is Zack not gay?
July 27th, 2006 at 1:28 pm
Wow, I just noticed it says in a relationship…I could’ve sworn it said he was straight…but disregard that last post…
July 29th, 2006 at 2:28 pm
Check back guy. There are two of them now.
August 4th, 2006 at 9:58 am
I’m 10 years old. Please don’t tell mommy I’m on the intarweb again, she’ll burn me with cigarettes…
August 9th, 2006 at 10:15 am
U NEED HELP! AND ALOT OF IT.
August 11th, 2006 at 3:27 pm
I’m with HotElf237. ZACK can do what every he wants and have a good time while all of you other mean and bored people are spending your time propelling into the fame he will inevitable enjoy! go ZACK! see you on Monday, Darling! have a good weekend everyone, and thanks for giving Zack all the attention!
August 12th, 2006 at 5:13 pm
I thought he was gay - anyway, the blonde in his picture is not his sister. She’s Lo, some people might recognize her from the first (and some of the second) season of Laguna Beach: The Real OC which aired on MTV.
August 13th, 2006 at 11:47 pm
hey guys, not that it matters since he actually seems like a cool guy, i was clicking around and there are pictures on colton’s page, linked from his, that are of them dancing and kissing. so yeah hes gay. big deal. http://202.68.162.181/Photo129/244077/60/163105501.jpg i rest my case.
August 18th, 2006 at 9:55 am
HotElf/bunny = trolling. End of story.
August 20th, 2006 at 12:10 pm
Lol, Jeez, what an *******! This guy sickens me, seriously! You gotta love bashing on some moron’s page
August 21st, 2006 at 12:13 pm
Oh sh*t… this guy is so obsesed with himself… and he is so gAY… bluudy hel i wonder who allowed this page…
PEOPLE LIKE HIM SHOULD BE EXTINCT…
September 3rd, 2006 at 2:00 pm
I_Love_Lynette, I’m sorry for my confusing comment. I was afraid people would read it wrong. I was just quoting that one chick to point out the hypocricy in her post (i.e. “you guys are ugly” plus “don’t judge people”. It was definitely a waste of everyone’s time, and I regret it seeing how it’s not even funny. Scroll up from that one to read some of my other, more hilarious comments.
September 3rd, 2006 at 2:01 pm
Whoo boy, I just made a bunch of typos.
September 6th, 2006 at 7:54 pm
Did anyone besides me notice that he ALWAYS takes pictures with his face facing to the right. His myspace makes me want to run full speed into a wall with my head down to end it all.
September 13th, 2006 at 8:00 am
Zack’s secret to great hair revealed!!!!
so when i get out of the shower, i blowdry my hair.. then i flatiron it with no product in it. after a flatiron sesh, i use either bumble and bumble’s sumotech or (alot more, lately) jonathan’s dirt (which u can get from sephora.com) which is a texturizing paste. spread a little bit in my fingers and then just work into my hair and mess it up. that’s it! hope that helps u guys…
lataaaaa
At least with people like this, what you get is what you see, since there’s nothing more to them than what’s on the surface.
September 19th, 2006 at 8:48 pm
silly goose…oh wait, he likes girls? great, not even my vag is safe from limp wristed self-absorbed flamers now. just when i thought i had one last safe place.
September 20th, 2006 at 5:04 pm
does everyone have nothing better to do than judge?
just because you may not agree with how someone else lives their life, that doesnt make you better than them…
just forget about him and live your own damn life haha
and if everyone in southern california is so stupid, how do you explain the UCs being so good? ya the majority of us are caught up on looks, but were also pre law and pre med. its called work hard play hard kids.
September 20th, 2006 at 6:24 pm
Haha, I got here first.
“does everyone have nothing better to do than judge?”
Yes, but we choose to because of all the nifty conversations it generates, in which we get to flex all sorts of new muscles in our brains, called “wit” and “prose”.
“just because you may not agree with how someone else lives their life, that doesnt make you better than them…
just forget about him and live your own damn life haha”
You may refer to above retort.
” and if everyone in southern california is so stupid, how do you explain the UCs being so good? ya the majority of us are caught up on looks, but were also pre law and pre med. its called work hard play hard kids.”
Haha, care to back this up? He’s still a d-bag regardless of anything you show us.
September 21st, 2006 at 8:45 am
“ya the majority of us are caught up on looks, but were also pre law and pre med.”
so you’re vain AND materialistic. Impressive.
Seriously though, What a f*cking suprise. Rather than being “caught up” on looks and/or how much smarter or more successful you are than everyone else, try focusing on being a human being or, dare I say, an INDIVIDUAL.
To quote Fight Club: “The things you own end up owning you”
Now go ahead and die.
September 21st, 2006 at 10:15 am
Did anyone notice that the girl that he was at the beach with is LO from Laguna beach season one? Funny, I never took Lo for a F-hag.
October 10th, 2006 at 7:14 am
Someone needs to tell Zach that if he want’s children someday, porking some dudes cornhole ain’t the way to go about it no matter how much he looks like a little girl.
October 28th, 2006 at 3:38 pm
GREAT ODENS RAVEN, that boy aint right
October 29th, 2006 at 1:46 pm
Hey Amy, that “work hard, play hard” not so much for pre-law/pre-med. Advertising … yes. And it’s “work hard, play harder.” If you knew anything about law school, you do anything BUT play hard. It’s just work hard. Same for med school. Just an FYI. And if you are so intelligent as to be pre-law or pre-med, then please display so by using correct punctuation, grammar and capitalization. Thanks and have a nice day!
November 15th, 2006 at 5:20 pm
Great, now im throwing up when I see these;
* Color ORANGE.
* Paris Hilton.
* White hair.
November 19th, 2006 at 8:28 pm
Oh My f***ing god! What a fruit!
November 27th, 2006 at 11:54 pm
OK SERIOUSLY WOW SOMEONE SENT ME A LINK TO THIS WEBSITE ON MY MYSPACE AND I LOOKED AT IT.. I AM SIMPLY SHOCKED AND AMAZED THAT PEOPLE ARE SUCH F’ED UP LOSERS.. I MEAN YEA SO F’ING WHAT ZACK HAS A LIFE AND HE LIVES IT TO THE FULLEST!!!!!! I LOOK AT HIS MYSPACE AND THINK I WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH HIM.. IM SORRY HES NOT STUCK ON SOME TRAGIC BLOG ON THE F’ING INTERNET ON A SATURDAY NIGHT POSTING COMMENTS ABOUT SOMEONE HE HAS NEVER SEEN IN HIS LIFE… HE HAS A LIFE SO I SUGGEST EVERYONE ON THIS GOD FORSAKEN THING DO TE SAME.. I SWEAR I MEAN DONT YOU GUYS FEEEL LIKE COMPLETE LOSERS!!!!!!!! GET A F’ING LIFE AND LET ZACK LIVE HIS
November 28th, 2006 at 5:20 pm
Loving the caps, eh? He never suggested he has no life, he just suggested he was gay and that he was vapid and materialistic. If you thing he’s not, then you probably are yourself. Also, you suggested something about us being losers? I wouldn’t know, since there’s no question mark ANYWHERE on you post.
November 28th, 2006 at 7:08 pm
Or any punctuation other than to spell “F’N” and to type “..”
And lots and lots of !!!!!!!!!!!111111111111.
I count 4 uses of the “F” abbrieviation. And only one spelling mistake. Not a badly spelled retort as things go.
But LA ROCKS sounds like he or she is justifying being from LA AND being a ******-bag. It really makes you wonder who this person is. One of Zack’s harem of scary middle aged fangirls? Or perhaps a member of his mullet styling team remaning loyal to his employer. You decide.
November 28th, 2006 at 7:09 pm
I just realized I misplaced the flame. I mixed up Zack and JJ. Oh well, it’s all still logical.
December 22nd, 2006 at 8:25 pm
really scary…who wears gold bangle bracelets to the beach?!?
imagine how nice their tanned skin is going to look in about 5 years; like that LV leather they love so much! plus, how about all the homoerotic action going on? what the hell is ’shae’ short for? Shane? Shannon? Shayna? Sean? wtf?
and. referring to your 14 girlfriend as ‘the wife’? tacky.
actually having the lack of shame to post all your (& your friends’) tasteless, tactless quotes? priceless.
and, um…he needs to look up the phrase “less is more” RIGHT NOW. imagine the conversation:
z: is my myspace page TOO MUCH?
{blonde airhead}: NO WAY! IT’S HOT! HELLA RAD! in fact you need MORE pictures! let’s go do some more coke and take some more pictures! yeah!
z: i love you. i mean, i love me! what were we talking about? all the peroxide has eaten away my brain…glurggggg….
rofl.
December 24th, 2006 at 7:52 am
WTF? Did you see those big sunglasses on crooked? Was his facelift only half-done? One ear looked lower than the other…
He lives in ******* californica though, figures.
April 9th, 2007 at 7:21 pm
Blasted… his profile went private.
I didn’t get to see this profile that everybody has written such funny comments about.
May 19th, 2007 at 10:04 pm
Hey…can I work for you guys!! This myspace stuff is fun!! I just busted someone tonite that I’d been talking to for over a month! She claims her name was: Kay Leigh James…had some good looking pics on her site..but every time I asked for a phone conversation..she had some excuse!! I upset set her or (him) so much…he/she deleted her page!! LOL!
Anyway..back to Zack! Have you guys seen this clowns newest photo on the front page? Looks like he’s taking a ****!! Lets bust his *** up good!