Another reason to stop sucking at MySpace
So I was recovering from a debaucherous weekend of scotch-drinking and love-making to many women at one time when I stumbled across an article in the New York Times. Apparently, companies are now privy to the fact that résumés are really wads of rose-scented lies originating directly from the asses of job applicants, so they’re checking out MySpace profiles to find out about the real you:
Curious about the candidate, Ms. Homayoun went to her page on Facebook. She found explicit photographs and commentary about the student’s sexual escapades, drinking and pot smoking, including testimonials from friends. Among the pictures were shots of the young woman passed out after drinking.
“I was just shocked by the amount of stuff that she was willing to publicly display,” Ms. Homayoun said. “When I saw that, I thought, ‘O.K., so much for that.’ “
Hahaha! Fools! The Internet is vast, but it is not private. Sure, it might be “your” space, but hey, would you have glass walls for that den of filth and bodily fluids you call your bedroom?
Right, so why would you have the online equivalent?
Oh, and all you whiners that cry about Worst “invading their privacy” by highlighting their terrible profile, take note: the one invading your privacy is you, sucker.
Analysis
Watch for a spike in the unemployment rate and a plummeting GDP as the MySpace generation begins to graduate and start looking for jobs.
Ok, back to my Sunday after-church tryst with the pastor’s wife. (Yes, I’ll post the photos on my profile.)
June 12th, 2006 at 8:13 am
That’s good, I have actually been using “myspace” as a way to pre-qualify applications for positions I will be interviewing for. I have actually set up an interview only to postpone it indefinitely after reviewing their Myspace site.
Myspace, a place for the unemployed.
June 12th, 2006 at 10:43 am
you mean that posting your information on the internet means that just anyone can access it?!
…..oh sh*t
June 12th, 2006 at 1:51 pm
why not go the other way and make your profile show you as being ridiculously qualified for the job? oh thats right, mongoloid-myspacers can’t think that far in advance because they’re too busy updating their activities list.
June 13th, 2006 at 4:39 am
Facebook? You can’t get on Facebook unless you’re a university student. And you can’t see anyone’s profile (apart from those at your own university) unless they add you. Surely that’s a typo for MySpace?
June 13th, 2006 at 4:42 am
Oh, okay, I’ve read the whole article now. That’s sneaky! Very American, though, I can’t imagine British employers knowing enough about Facebook to utilise it like that at this point in time.
July 9th, 2006 at 3:26 am
dey wont hav a problem wiv my site =)
July 11th, 2006 at 1:09 am
No one will every want to hire you, Lynette because of the way you abuse Photoshop is similar to the way Mr.Drummond beats up his red-headed step child. By the way, you should learn how to write in proper English because the poor white girl Ebonics you use makes it seem that you are an uneduacated fool.
July 11th, 2006 at 12:46 pm
You can just make your page private
July 11th, 2006 at 1:13 pm
Apparently you can just make your page private.
July 11th, 2006 at 7:21 pm
Yea, Lynette, I stopped typing like you when I was 12, and well after I realized I was white.
July 11th, 2006 at 9:53 pm
rockgirl5455, I love you.
July 11th, 2006 at 11:40 pm
whateva biatches
July 12th, 2006 at 8:41 am
/\–Can’t argue with that kind of logic.
July 17th, 2006 at 1:40 pm
Yeah, you really, really can’t.
We all just got called biatches.
It’s still better than sno-ho’s though.
July 22nd, 2006 at 10:11 pm
snow ho’s
August 8th, 2006 at 2:20 pm
Hahaha, I really thought Lynette etc. we’re just joking… I must have been good at avoiding the myspace kind of people for some time.
August 9th, 2006 at 4:03 am
Erm, what’s employment?
August 9th, 2006 at 4:04 am
By the way, the student mentioned in the article sounds like a great laugh, anyone got her link?! Heehee!
August 9th, 2006 at 11:26 pm
woah can i be cool and say something too? ok thanks:
Lynette is more retarded than 100 kids from special olympics.
the end
August 11th, 2006 at 10:36 am
Air_Real and Crofty both are biatches for misuse of the beloved apostrophe.
Arabella is the pot for critising grammar whilstzu using the mispelling “uneduacated fool”
(You missed the “m” right?)
August 19th, 2006 at 9:45 pm
sno-ho? i’m unedumacated… what’s a sno-ho?
September 10th, 2006 at 2:24 pm
Lynette can’t possibly be real. Seriously. Probably a mock-up account done by this very site. And a damn good one at that!
September 18th, 2006 at 3:29 pm
So you don’t like MySpace? That’s fine and dandy, but don’t you think making an entire website about it sucking is pushing it a little too far? Really, if you don’t like the site, don’t go to it.
Just my two cents…
Dave
October 11th, 2006 at 8:52 am
No, because it blows big time.
If you don’t like sites slagging the ‘Space off, don’t go to them boyo. Listen to your own advice.
November 23rd, 2006 at 11:50 am
what in the world is a sno-ho?
November 26th, 2006 at 3:51 pm
I like the way Lynette decorated her page and I like her grammar.. We should respect differences?