The Worst of MySpace*

Disasters of social networking


The Death of MySpace

So I set up a profile on Facebook the other day. My old ass missed the Facebook phenomenon by a couple of years, but now that they’ve opened it up to any schmo off the street, I can finally get on there and start stalking college hotties like the brothers over at the GHB house.

Smart Cousin, Stupid Cousin

Facebook is like the quiet, well-dressed, overachieving cousin that spent more time studying than partying in college, but that everyone knows is going to be heading a Fortune 500 company by the time he’s 30.

MySpace is the drunkenly boisterous, sloven, borderline-retarded cousin that everyone likes — because he’s just so fun and goofy! — but quickly grow sick of when he starts farting on people and talking about tea-bagging episodes with his football buddies at community college.

I still don’t get the whole point of social networking for social networking’s sake, but Facebook is slightly less pointless than MySpace, easy to use, fast, looks good (because people can’t edit the design), groups people into logical networks, and has cool Web 2.0 features. There are also much better privacy controls.

Best of all? NO STUPID ERROR MESSAGES!

The long run

From a business standpoint, probably the most important thing to note is that Facebook has staying power: its life cycle as a product extends past the 14-22 demographic to which MySpace seems to cater almost exclusively. The user experience is stable; it’s tasteful and you know what to expect.

Adults (no, college kids aren’t adults) aren’t going to be scared to use Facebook. You’re not going to be embarrassed to be caught looking at a Facebook profile while at work at your law office in five or 10 years, as opposed to pulling up that MySpace profile of some idiot friend of yours who insists on having flashing bling gifs and “Happy Hump Day!” porn plastered everywhere.

Le Mort d’MySpace

Facebook is going to kill MySpace. You heard it here first. Unless MySpace gets a complete user experience overhaul, they’re Friendster 2.0.

Shut up. I don’t care about 90 million users blah blah blah. I’ve been saying this for years (to deaf ears): It’s all about the user experience, and given a choice, people will ultimately take the path of least resistance. And when MySpace is the path hastily carved by a wheelchair-bound monkey on acid, paved with broken glass shards, dead babies and fart smell, the choice is not hard to make.

30 Responses to “The Death of MySpace”

  1. Dizz Says:

    Doubt it, considering MySpace has built up it’s huge fan base with Emos and Preps.

  2. Dizz Says:

    Also, people who like to give other people seizures will be dissapointed.

  3. Chosenfro68 Says:

    Thing is preps love the “What if” game, making them come back to myspace thinking “What if its not broken anymore”

  4. Bren Says:

    Agree. The next version of myspace will come along with more chances to make one’s gawdy presence known online, while requiring little effort.

  5. J Says:

    People need to realize the digital dirt they are burying themselves into by using myspace. Doesn’t anyone think about their future anymore.

  6. Destroi Says:

    I just wish I could get away from it, still being in high school kinda means that you have to. I might get a facebook in the near future I suppose.

  7. Im not linking to a myspace Says:

    As stated in this blog entry, facebook doesn’t make me want to shove a pencil into my eyes with a layout most of the time looks like it was made by a 3 year old on crack, or the fact that 50 videos/songs start playing at once making me want to chuck my speakers off a cliff.

    Remember K.I.S.S. Keep It Simple Stupid…. something Facebook does very well.

    FOX is too busy buying up everything, and Rupert Murdoch is being to much of an old **** to do anything about the coming end of myspace… oh well. It was nice knowing ya.

    An appropriate error message for MySpace would be “FOX is buying crap, a mouse farted, and Tom is tripping over cables… please try again when Rupert tells you to.”

    BTW: Word to the wise… don’t click my name. You have been warned.

  8. candylover Says:

    i dont c the piont of mysoace and freindster or xanga etc.
    my brother has myspace and his friends add him and comment him even though they c him evry day
    nobody even makes new freinds
    pointless..
    brainwashed kids

  9. John Q Mobster Says:

    And then we have people like candylover here who has yet to pass 2nd grade english. These types contribute to the pollution of myshiot.

  10. John Q Mobster Says:

    Oh, and since I can’t edit comments I need to make another.

    I’ve never gotten why people love myshiot. I’ve rarely had anyone on as a “friend” that I haven’t socialized with for any long period, be it online or off.

    Well, I DO have a few bands. I add so I can comment and tell them how much their music rules, to catch any bulletins they post, possibly get the attention of someone with similar music tastes blah blah, abd to act as a convenient “bookmark” so I don’t have to go hunting all over myshiot to see what they have to say.

    Anyway, I hardly login to myshiot anymore unless someone comments or messages me. It’s just a convenient drop-off for mass-messages to friends (in the form of bulletins or comments.. no I do NOT repost surveys). Far better than any instant messenger.

    This blog may convince me to give facebook a try. But until I can similarly convince my friends to also get on, I guess I’m stuck with MYSHIOT ERRORS!!

  11. Destroi Says:

    Right on John Q, Right on.

  12. Marc Valles Says:

    Sorry, Jason. Good does not triumph over evil. Remember Betamax.

  13. HotElf237 Says:

    lol u giz r retarted. Myspace is 4 pepole who hav freinds, Facebook is 4 nerd form colege lol. reterteD!

  14. disapointed Says:

    So it took me a total of 3 seconds after reading this to sign up for “facebook”. However the confirmation link is dead and there is no way for me to sign up without confirming. So far…not a good start and I’ll stick with myspace since “facebook” would supposedly cause me no problems and it already has without me even having to sign up!

  15. satan Says:

    hot elf works at jack in the box. HAHAHAHAHA.

  16. Kat Says:

    Damn, satan, that still makes me laugh! Have a good new year!

  17. luke Says:

    whats myspace?

  18. sarah Says:

    Facebook sucks,i’m sticking with myspace.
    That’s all i have to say.

  19. satan Says:

    Thanks Kat, you do the same! (notice how I can type in complete words, not like some morons?)

  20. Sarah Says:

    You’re all screwed up.

  21. Roxanne Says:

    I am so fed up with this website.I mean,could people get any crueler?Here are some examples…

    “notice how I can type in complete words, not like some morons?”

    Maybe some people type that way on purpose to hurry up with the message.But if they really can’t spell,you shouldn’t jump all over them about it.

    “we have people like candylover here who has yet to pass 2nd grade english”

    Dude,you are screwed up.And candylover,you are right.

    “Doubt it, considering MySpace has built up it’s huge fan base with Emos and Preps”

    Uh,not JUST emos and preps like it.Hey,I think it’s ok,and I’M not an emo OR a prep.

    “Facebook sucks,i’m sticking with myspace.
    That’s all i have to say.”

    What’s with that?I mean,isn’t it pointless to just post something like that?What’s the point?Ok,you think it sucks,deal with it.But you don’t have to shout it for the world to hear.

    So,you see?People come here just to be cruel or to whine about something.Grow up,people.We’re already screwed up enough.

  22. samantha Says:

    You guys don’t know what you’re talking about

  23. Jeff Says:

    And you can’t forget about all the pages that have 80 songs and 20 movies and pictures that load at 200×200 but the whole 2800×2100 gets downloaded into your TEMP folder, I’m on Dial-up, I’ve lost connections because of all the crap on myspace

  24. Kayla Says:

    I think this is funny. I love myspace. Here it is for everyone to see. =]

    http://www.myspace.com/abercrombieblondie23

  25. Your Mom Says:

    Ew Abercrombie is gross. :P

  26. Ally Says:

    I like myspace.Sure some people put a lot of crap on their page that causes people to get annoyed (iI get annoyed when poeple have too much stuff as well)but myspace isn’t all bad.When I signed up on myspace I thought it was going to be a rip off of all those other communication sites.Then I saw it all.I came into contact with a lot of my old friends from the United Sates (I moved to Australia about 3 years ago) and it made me so happy!I love myspace and being able to create custom backgrounds and layouts for the site really bring out some peoples true colors.

    Well, that’s all I wanted to say!Thank-you

    BTW I am only a young teenager…..I think I presented what I had to say very well.

  27. Wishing I Was Canadian. Says:

    Does it count if your Myspace is dead and you don’t really give a crap about Facebook, seeing as that you aren’t college age or above?

    I guess I would just rather play with bubbles outside instead of constantly updating a page about myself.

    I also didn’t know being a young teenager meant anything. I just thought it meant I was young.

  28. Katlin Says:

    Not an Emo not a prep…more on the lines of a research specialist on the things mankind is to afraid to welcome into possibilities.

  29. Cody Joe Says:

    Myspace is awsome it allows me to meet cute girls and ive even dated some of them I LOVE MYSPACE as with facebook its just the girls you have to see everyday at school and so on and most of the ones i liked ive already went out with and found out they were losers and stuff so i like myspace because i get to meet girls that live in the sarounding towns and go out with them MYSPACE ROCKS!!! GO MYSPACE

  30. Dr. Rosenblat Says:

    Wow, you are bay far the coolest son of a b*tch that has ever graced these forums.

    What’s your secret???

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