Drugs are bad, mmkay?
Not only does the layout for Cocaine Energy Drink’s profile suck, the concept is completely ghey as well. I don’t advocate the use of drugs. In fact, stoner-dudes older than 14 make me want to go on a WWE-style bong-smashing rampage: I can’t stand retards who flaunt their lame drug habit.
Then again, I don’t necessarily advocate abstinence. Maybe the self-styled drug guinea pig, Terence McKenna, was on to something when he said every man could be a Magellan in his own mind if he chowed a bag of mushrooms and laid down in a dark room for couple of hours.
Of course, McKenna died from a nasty case of brain cancer at age 53. These things happen.
Hoo-ahh!
Anyway, cool things are not mainstream. Most drugs are cool because they’re *not* mainstream. Pot is uncool because it has been almost completely mainstreamed — your grandma smokes pot. Porn is rapidly becoming mainstreamed and because I subscribe so avidly only to cool things, pretty soon I won’t be watching it anymore (and what to do with all the new-found spare time?)
Cocaine, however, should never, ever be mainstreamed. Not only is crack wack, but cocaine is practically the mortar that binds the foundation of our cultural elite and their concept of self-cool, from club rats to supermodels to Al Pacino in Scarface.
To mainstream cocaine is to attack the very fabric of our culture of vapidity and idolatry. As a society, it’s self-destructive and frankly I don’t like it!
Save America and Al Pacino by keeping drugs cool: Boycott lame soft drinks!
October 2nd, 2006 at 3:19 pm
The rant was completely irrelevant to the profile. I agree, though.
October 2nd, 2006 at 3:47 pm
Nuh uh, it made total sense
October 2nd, 2006 at 4:04 pm
i didn’t really look at the profile but i have a sugestion for the worst myspace profile ok look at my 3rd top friend danneilla go to her page and have a seisure k just sugesting
~*Ashley*~
October 2nd, 2006 at 4:14 pm
o and u might see a comment telling her that i like it… well i was just being nice i hate it it makes my eyes hurt
October 2nd, 2006 at 4:36 pm
Ugh, what a great advertising ploy.
Yeah, and cocaine f|/cks you up bad. It’s not even remotely social, as pot has grown to be (haha “grown”) it’s kinda hard to share cocaine from what I’ve seen of the people who use it.
Bottom line: Sh1tty publicity stunt for a sh1tty fad caffienated beverage.
I think this qualifies as a “worst” based on the premise more than the actual design, mediocre as it is.
October 2nd, 2006 at 4:37 pm
Oh and Ashley?
F|/ck you.
October 2nd, 2006 at 4:39 pm
Oh and one final side note, check out this lame marketing flak page, just rip with cocaine puns and thinly veiled cliches.
http://www.myspace.com/buycocaine
October 2nd, 2006 at 6:07 pm
Scarface sucked.
October 2nd, 2006 at 6:17 pm
Nice to see you back…about time.
October 2nd, 2006 at 7:59 pm
I want this ****. **** if the myspace is gay, bad approach i agree, but ****, i want it!
October 3rd, 2006 at 3:31 pm
And ints not like teenyboppers who drink the $hlt will ever do coke or anything.
October 3rd, 2006 at 4:33 pm
man it sucks when idiots start coming to an awesome site and ruin it with their comments
October 3rd, 2006 at 7:24 pm
Indeed. /ignore
October 6th, 2006 at 12:18 pm
Heh.
Crack.
October 6th, 2006 at 2:11 pm
wtf?
Quote: ‘man it sucks when idiots start coming to an awesome site and ruin it with their comments’
^^ I can only hope you were being ironic.
If not, then god bless your soul.
October 18th, 2006 at 4:24 pm
This is supposed to be satire, right? I wasn’t amused. Also, I think I cringed some when you said “stoner-dudes”. It just made you sound uneducated.
Keep working on it.
October 30th, 2006 at 4:49 pm
Only retards use the words mmkay and ghey.
October 31st, 2006 at 9:28 am
Oops! You said “mmkay” and “ghey.” Guess you’re a retard.
October 31st, 2006 at 4:30 pm
Oooh, you did too. Guess you’re retarded as well.
You retards go nice together. You’d make the perfect group photo.
October 31st, 2006 at 11:13 pm
Talking to yourself again, I see.
November 2nd, 2006 at 1:18 pm
Since he put it in quotes, it’s not as if he’s using that language. Nice try though!
November 2nd, 2006 at 8:22 pm
IM SOOO KOOL!!!!!
November 2nd, 2006 at 10:48 pm
I believe the term you’re looking for is “retarded.”
November 3rd, 2006 at 6:33 pm
Boxtop and Kat, it would help if you guys developed a decent sense of humor. Life would be a lot easier you know?
November 4th, 2006 at 2:29 am
“Boxtop and Kat, it would help if you guys developed a decent sense of humor. Life would be a lot easier you know?”
Maybe you and your little schizophrenic friend should learn to grow the f*ck up. I’m sick of people who misuse the word “joke.” “Oh, we’re just having fun with you guys! Get a sense of humour.” Shut the f*ck up. You wouldn’t know humour if it bit off your nipples.
November 4th, 2006 at 2:36 am
“our little schizophrenic friend”
Damn. Wrong person.
November 4th, 2006 at 9:18 am
Talk about pointless websites, everyone should look at Planet Boxtop! WTF!
November 4th, 2006 at 9:21 am
SORRY I couldn’t help it you adopted animated pets boxtop.
oh yeah your cool. Nice webpage!
Retard, add some graphics to your page or something.
Since you do have knowledge in Computer Science.
Is that thrid grade computer science.
lmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
November 4th, 2006 at 1:45 pm
“Talk about pointless websites, everyone should look at Planet Boxtop! WTF!”
It’s a personal website, sh*thead. And I’m planning on getting another webhost and a new website. I also happen to have a soft spot for virtual pets.
Oh, and Computer Science =/= Graphic/Web Design. Look it up sometime.
November 4th, 2006 at 1:46 pm
Oh, and by the way, I enjoy the minimalist approach to web design. I believe too many graphics on a webpage inhibit easy navigation and make the website look like crap.
November 4th, 2006 at 1:47 pm
Third post:
Also, you shouldn’t be giving me advise on web design when you don’t even have a webpage in the first place, and it’s obvious you’re still in preschool.
Okay, I’m done.
November 4th, 2006 at 3:04 pm
Mr. Nutz has done an excellent job on his website.
You should take pointers!
I do have a web page it’s called
planet dumb a#s with you as the main topic!
The error messages on myspace are more creative than your page!
November 4th, 2006 at 6:15 pm
This is just a bad name for a energy drink!
some of the videos show that it’s even a bad drink!
next you will be able to buy crack drinks, etc.
November 4th, 2006 at 6:25 pm
That’s an innovative idea.
Yeah. I’m totally serious. No joke. Not a hint of humor.
And, Boxtop, I applaud your social skills. You try to have the last word be an incredibly stupefying insult! The good ol’ preschool card. Never loses, right? Heh, suggesting that someone is in a grade level that they’re obviously not! It’s just unstoppable, unbeatable, untoppable, Invincible, Untouchable, CNN!
Oh, and, if humor did take a lunge at my chest and get his teeth on the big one, I’d know him. I mean, who else would get so personal with me?
November 6th, 2006 at 12:35 pm
Asdfg…Oops, extra letter - I do have a sense of humor! I love laughing at the banter that goes on on this Web page. It’s one of my favorites. If I didn’t have a sense of humor or semi-decent vocabulary, I would have been bored with this site a long time ago. What I don’t understand is why I’m all-of-a-sudden under attack because I pointed out one thing.
November 6th, 2006 at 3:01 pm
I believe everyone goes under attack once in awhile on this site!
Thats why it’s so fun!
It’s a bone of contention!
kiss,kiss!
November 6th, 2006 at 7:27 pm
Yeah, you are right it is fun to discept. Even when you are the target! If you can’t laugh at yourself, life will never be funny.
November 10th, 2006 at 5:54 pm
You are right about that Kat.
November 13th, 2006 at 10:14 pm
Russel hates cocaine! It make Russel’s head hurt!
Russel smash Cocaine Energy Drink!
SMASH! DESTROY!!
RAAAAAAAAAARRRGGH!!!
November 14th, 2006 at 1:26 am
yeyah.
im a gun doggy g-ride bouncer. Pehee!.
That gangsta thing is pretty cool
November 14th, 2006 at 11:50 pm
You know, selling your Cocaine is a totally better way to get rid of it.
*Cough* E - mail me plz
November 19th, 2006 at 8:10 pm
Wow, nearly two months and still no updates -_-
Not that hard to find terrible profiles >_>
December 1st, 2006 at 10:22 pm
Seriously, its been so long since this site has had an update…myspace is just crawling with people that need to be put down
December 4th, 2006 at 2:23 am
Hey everyone,
I just wanted to say that you all are f*cking crazy. Everyone who has left a little argumentative/insulting comment has no life. Now, before you all rush to your little keyboards to draw my attention to the fact that I am leaving comment also, don’t. I realize I have no life. This is not me trying to be condesending in in way, so don’t bother with f-ing correct any grammatical/spelling errors I may have made since frankly, I don’t care. I am only trying to help you. But, before you are going to make fun of someone else’s word use make sure that you really understand the context, for example if they’re satirically or ironically, using the word. Also, when you don’t use puncuation while calling someone else a retard or similar mature names you look like a f-ing idiot.
December 5th, 2006 at 6:08 pm
U leve him alone my space is not bad wtf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Puttups not pdtowns lol 2nd grad mor like. but sersoly cant u leve pepole alone 4 1ce?
December 5th, 2006 at 11:30 pm
wow. i was hoping that the hilarity of this site would not be wasted on the undeserving.
i never should have got my hopes up.
December 8th, 2006 at 9:17 am
lol!!!!!!!!
December 9th, 2006 at 10:47 am
you are really alter. what is wrong with mainstream stuff? i mean, okay, we all now britney sucks (and not only *****) but what is wrong with, per example, nicely dressed lady with good figure and nice face?
December 10th, 2006 at 9:52 am
you can.
December 10th, 2006 at 1:25 pm
My grandma DOES smoke pot!
December 14th, 2006 at 12:49 pm
This was interesting..
http://www.myspace.com/mogreenn
This guy has ripped your pages and posted them as blogs. It wouldn’t be so blatantly obvious if his own blogs didn’t look like they were written by an illiterate six-year-old, and the fact that he has littered his awful profile with four dozen “look how freaking awesome I am” pics, which as I recall, was one of your cardinal sins of profile building.
December 14th, 2006 at 11:14 pm
Thanks very much for pointing that out. Strangely enough, all the photos he was stealing from me have been magically swapped with something else. Might need to reload those blogs. (Warning: NSFW)
December 16th, 2006 at 11:34 am
God[emphasize]DANG[/emphasize] that man is ugly.
December 19th, 2006 at 3:20 pm
DAMN! That guy is original! Why do you go around stealing his content like that, Mr. Nutz? Replacing the beautiful pictures doesn’t help, either.
December 20th, 2006 at 12:41 pm
“Thanks very much for pointing that out. Strangely enough, all the photos he was stealing from me have been magically swapped with something else. Might need to reload those blogs. (Warning: NSFW)”
BAHAHAHA! Well played old friend, well played. He has, however, also stolen this little article (pictures and all). Go ahead and switch it up this time, maybe swap the photos with some photoshoped pictures of the man himself getting pounded in the sulfer hole, or perhaps playing the skin flute. Now THAT, my friends, is street justice.
December 20th, 2006 at 1:11 pm
Oh, and while youre at it, go ahead and just do your next article on his abhorant, self promoting myspace page. Another peice of Jersey trash that thinks he’s “da man”. I guess shamelessly stealing someone else’s work, posting up pictures of strangers and passing them off as your friends, and looking like a caveman make you “da sh*t”. You can’t argue with logic.
The funny part is that he advertises, on his own page, for his own blogs. Blogs that are obviously stolen, and, coincidentally, filled with homoerotica.
So, in conclusion, not only is he Jersey trash, a blatant thief, and the last living example of homo erectus; he is also incredibly narcisistic. Oh, and gay. Mega, super gay.
December 21st, 2006 at 7:01 pm
There’s actually no other way to say it but that.
December 23rd, 2006 at 9:51 am
Myspace is a ******* joke! Do people not know how to remove an old theme when pasting in a new one? Myspace if full of crappy videos and canned photos posing as content. I have 260 “friends” and I think I can only view 40 of them, the rest crash my browser or take 5 minutes to load…
December 27th, 2006 at 12:29 pm
not updateing for over 3 months is bad mmkay
December 27th, 2006 at 8:35 pm
word, where the f!ck are you Nutz?
January 2nd, 2007 at 9:06 am
i think your all pretty fncked up…
January 10th, 2007 at 2:07 pm
Rob,I couldn’t have said it better myself.
January 12th, 2007 at 12:58 am
Yeah i don’t think thats cool that his myspace profile is like that i saw his myspace codes that he used also.
January 22nd, 2007 at 10:21 am
I LOVE YOU! XxX
January 23rd, 2007 at 1:57 am
Oooooooh! Ooooooh! I wanna play!!! Love this site! But, where are the new posts??? Or do I just need to stumble around here a little more and find my way around? ****- Lemme go remove my falling objects, real quick, while I’m thinking about it…
October 5th, 2007 at 8:42 pm
About how old are you feel it overwhelm cross dressing picture gallery our senses.
October 19th, 2007 at 12:48 pm
wow you sound really stupid.”i only subcribe to cool things”ya your lame